Don’t Go In The Woods – Review

When one of the best things a movie can put on its cover is a quote by CKY lead singer Deron Miller saying this is one of his favourite films, is it fair to be very apprehensive? Usually a film would at least have a quote or two from people within the film industry or critics. Let us take a look.

Don’t Go In The Woods (also known as Don’t Go In The Woods… Alone!) was made in 1981 and directed by James Bryan. To say the plot is basic is a massive understatement. People go into the woods and get murdered. That is it. No reasoning why. No explanation. No point.

WARNING! THE BELOW TRAILER CONTAINS MATERIAL THAT MAY OFFEND SOME AND IS NOT SAFE FOR WORK!

Let us get it out of the way early. This film is absolutely dreadful. Do not get me wrong, I was not expecting an award-winning level of film-making or something which would have any sort of artistic merit, but I at least thought it may be fun in a cheesy, so bad it is good way. It is not. It is painfully dull and filled with characters that you will not care about at all in any way. Not even the kills can rescue this mess. Sometimes, even bad films can be rescued by some inventive deaths or decent gore. Not here. None live long in the memory, except for one involving a bear trap. It is still a bad kill, but at least it is fairly inventive.

If it is not clear from the above paragraph, I will make it as clear as possible. Do not watch this film. It is truly dreadful from start to finish and I really could not wait for it to end. Messy, badly acted, poorly written and boring throughout. This is definitely one to avoid.

BAN-WORTHY?

Don’t Go In The Woods was on the DPP list of films that were considered obscene and of the 72 that appeared at one point or another, 39 were successfully prosecuted against, including Don’t Go In The Woods. Which when you see the film, is truly ridiculous. For a film that was apparently likely to corrupt, Don’t Go In The Woods is now available to buy uncut with a 15 certificate. But do not buy it. It is awful.

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